


i dreamed i was missing

by Mina Lightstar (ukefied)



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 10:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/773165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukefied/pseuds/Mina%20Lightstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max disappears.  Two people don't stop looking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i dreamed i was missing

**Author's Note:**

> Another collaboration with **dollarformyname** , part of the **Dark Angel Reverse Bang**! Check out the [art masterpost](http://dollarformyname.livejournal.com/62273.html)!
> 
> SEE BOTTOM NOTES FOR WARNINGS.

Terminal City is burning.

Alec doesn't know what he thinks of it all. Maybe it's some kind of cosmic joke: Marginalized race finally bands together to stand up for their rights, only to be crushed under an unforgiving, hate-mongering boot. All their fighting, all their running, all their secrecy, and this is the result. Their transgenic sanctuary had lasted all of six months.

It's raining, but not hard enough to douse the flames. Alec looks up, watching Joshua's flag burn. Raindrops pelt his face, get in his eyes—then he finds himself jostled to one side. A group of bipedal lizards scamper past him. There's panic in the streets; it's a wonder he hasn't been trampled yet, standing in the middle of it all.

Some Exterminators are going after the lizard transgenics, hot on their heels. Alec finally snaps himself out of his stupor and gives chase. He runs one down, dropping him with a quick blow to the head. He clocks the second with his own assault rifle. Without skipping a beat, he drops the gun and leaps for the third. They hit the ground together, Alec on top, and he punches the man hard enough to hear his nose crack.

The lizard transgenics didn't even stick around to say thanks. Any other day, Alec would take issue with that. He rolls to his feet and finds himself face to face with Max.

"This party sucks," he says, brushing off his jeans.

"Make sure the east side is evacuated!" Max orders, wet hair plastered across her determined expression. She turns before he can answer, disappearing into the chaos.

Alec never sees her again. He does go to the east side. He sweeps the area, tells the stragglers to run or die, dropkicks a few more Exterminators, and lingers as long as he can. When Terminal City is a burnt husk and Alec is choking on thick smoke, he makes his own escape.

He spends the rest of that morning up a tree, waiting for a phone call, a signal, _anything_. He tries not to dwell on the fact that the last thing he said to Max was _"This party sucks."_

Max had the answer. Whatever had been building, Max had had the answer—and now she's gone. Alec doesn't know where the cult stops and the Exterminators begin. He only know that they all hate transgenics enough to eradicate every single one.

Alec flees. There's no choice; the Exterminators are everywhere, and many of them know Alec's face. Terminal City was the first: the one that had failed. But other safe havens are sure to follow, somewhere. Alec figures he'll get hook up with Max and Joshua at one of them down the line.

He's wrong. His phone never rings; his calls never connect. Max isn't answering. Joshua is off the grid. Even Logan Cale is unreachable. Maybe they're all dead—maybe that's why Alec doesn't shoot Ben on sight.

"What the fuck," he says instead, eyeing his twin up and down.

Ben looks terrible. Last Alec had heard, his twin had been spared a life of experimentation when Max had snapped his neck. This Ben is haggard, his eyes wild and dangerous, head shaved and—fuck—displaying the barcode for all to see. He's skinny as a rail, swimming in his filthy Manticore fatigues—but the moment Alec makes a grab for him, Ben is all firm, wiry strength.

"Let _go,_ " Ben snarls, and his lip curls back into a sneer.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Alec asks, fingers tightening on Ben's slim shoulders. "Why are you even here?"

Ben looks at him then, really looks at him, and Alec's words get stuck in his throat. "I told her not to let them take me," he says, with wide, unseeing eyes.

Port Orchard is a small, quiet backwater hovel. No one is really paying attention to them. No one is even really around. Still, Alec feels exposed on the main road. He pulls at Ben again, with renewed vigor, and this time his twin follows.

He answers Ben once they're safely hidden in the bushes. "Do you know what happened to Max?"

"Hap-pened?" Ben stammers, blinking. He cocks his head, as though he can get the screws to fall into place. "There was a fire …" His face scrunches up with the effort to remember. "Someone broke the glass." He grips his left forearm, rubbing an injury that isn't there anymore.

So much of Alec's life has been destroyed with fire. "At Manticore?" he asks, after it becomes obvious that Ben isn't going to say anything else. "Or after?"

"Both," Ben says, squeezing his eyes shut. "Neither. There is no Manticore; the white-gold people came and burned it down. They pulled out the wires. My wires. Took the Lady away from me."

Alec sucks in a breath. "The Exterminators gutted Manticore at Wyoming? How did they even know about it?"

"Not Wyoming, Oregon." Ben winces, like it hurts to remember. He curls in on himself, speaking to the ground. "They're everywhere—they know everything. They want Max. They think I—they think I know where Max is, but I don't. I don't. I don't!" The last comes out as a sob.

"Okay," Alec soothes, eyeing the road for any interested passers-by. "Okay, I need you to not flip your shit. Can you do that for me?"

Ben nods, sinking to his knees. "I told her not to let them take me. Why did she let them? Did I do something wrong?"

 _Understatement of the century,_ Alec thinks. He's not stupid, though, so he keeps that to himself. "If I see her, I'll ask."

He's not leaving yet, but Ben reacts like he is. His twin lurches forward, grabbing at Alec's jeans with desperate fingers. "They're still looking for Max. Everyone is looking for Max."

"The woman of the hour," Alec says, shaking Ben off. "Look," he starts, but can't finish. He doesn't necessarily _know_ that Max is dead.

"She'll be with Zack," Ben says, now picking at the grass. "She was always with Zack."

Alec considers it. "Somewhere in Canada, then."

"Somewhere in Canada," Ben echoes. "Somewhere in Canada."

A lifetime ago, he would have left Ben where he stood. But the last time he turned his back on a fellow transgenic, Alec ended up alone. Once, Max had confessed that not saving Ben had been one of her greatest failures. She'd accused Alec of being a living reminder of that failure and hated him for it.

So instead he says, "We have to find you a hat."

Against Alec's better judgment, he steers them back to Seattle. He needs to know. He needs to _know_.

They stick to the rooftops. Alec lost his Jam Pony pass and doesn't think he'd make it past a checkpoint, anyway. Ben is still a malnourished bag of crazycakes, but he remembers how to blend in. He follows Alec's lead, leaping from building to building. They're wearing nondescript street clothing, and Ben is wearing a knit hat pulled down low to cover his barcode. Alec figures they still look pretty sketchy, but no one seems to notice them.

They try Logan Cale's house first. Alec immediately wishes they hadn't. The second they break in, Alec's jaw drops.

Cale's apartment looks like Ground Zero. There are signs of a fire, paint and wallpaper stripped from the walls. What remains of the furniture is wrecked, paintings and artwork demolished or burnt beyond recognition. It would be a tragic house fire if not for the fact that Logan's place is conspicuously the only one damaged.

"This isn't …" Ben trails off with a whimper. Belatedly, Alec figures that making him re-live fire probably isn't a good idea. "What happened here?"

Alec knows what happened here. _The site was cauterized._ Manticore and the Exterminators operated the same way, if not as one.

"Alec?" Ben asks, pulling his hat further down.

"Logan's dead," Alec says, voice tight. His fingers curl into a quivering fist.

Joshua's house looks like a bomb went off inside it. His furniture didn't hold up as well as Logan's had; not a trace of Joshua is left in the place. The walls are black and the floorboards stripped away. Alec surveys the damage and feels cold.

"You knew him?" Ben asks, once Alec exits the building. Ben is curled up against a garbage bin, looking like any other impoverished Seattle resident.

"Yeah," Alec manages. The rage threatens to bubble over, but he pushes it back down. It won't do them any good right now.

Max's apartment is more of the same. There's no sign of Original Cindy, either. This time, Alec can't bring himself to go in. He drops down from the window and buries his face in his hands.

"Maxie," Ben is saying, clawing at the brick, "Maxie, Max, Maxie …"

"C'mere." Alec grabs at Ben, pulling him away from the wall and further into the alley. "Stay with me, okay?"

"She can't be dead." Ben mumbles these words into Alec's shoulder, fingers curling into Alec's leather jacket. "She can't be; she has the answer."

"What answer?" Alec wants to know. Seems like an awful lot of people are dying for it. When Ben doesn't reply, Alec shakes him. "What does Max know?"

" _Max_ knows," Ben insists, burying his face in Alec's neck. " _I_ don't know. I don't!" he adds, louder this time.

"Right, right." Alec shushes him, rubbing the knit hat. "I get it: you don't know." He makes them stay there for a few minutes, until Ben calms down enough to put some distance between them. "You said Max was with Zack, remember?"

Ben thinks about it. Then he nods. "Somewhere in Canada."

Alec bites his lower lip. "Well, let's blow this popsicle stand."

Alec and Ben head back around, making their way north of Seattle. They stick to stolen cars and back roads, sleeping in shitty discount motels and living on Twinkies. In between, Alec tries to dig up information on the Exterminators, Logan Cale, Max Guevara, and any of the others. He comes up with nothing, every single time. It's as though Eyes Only has been wiped from the pages of history, and Max with him.

Now and again, Ben dreams of her. Alec can tell from the way he twitches, the way he whimpers, the way he reaches out for her hand. Alec never sleeps much, anyway, being a transgenic—but Ben's nightmares have him awake for days on end.

One night, Alec has just fallen asleep when a sharp cry hurtles him to a sitting position. Ben is sprawled on the other bed, gasping for breath. His eyes are wide as saucers, bright even in the darkness. Alec just watches him for a moment, waiting.

Ben whispers, "Why did she leave me?" and turns over, huddling in a fetal position. Alec doesn't know if Ben is talking about Max or the Lady. It could be either one, these days.

Whatever Manticore did, Ben was thoroughly, irreparably fucked in the head. Alec sure as hell isn't certified to fix him. Maybe he'll be like this forever: skittish, unpredictable, jumping at shadows and lost in a world of his own construct. It's not ideal, especially not with a target on every transgenic's back, but all they have is each other.

Alec shuffles over to Ben's bed. He sleeps in his briefs, so huddled like this, Alec can see the barcode. Ben's hair isn't growing back. Neither of them know what that means. "Hey," Alec says, "you gotta keep it quiet." The walls are thin; Alec knows, because the couple next door were fucking like animals not two hours prior. "We need to keep a low profile, remember?"

"… Yes," Ben replies, but his voice wavers. He starts shivering—is he cold? Frightened? Or just batshit? Fuck. How is Alec going to cross the border with this mess under his arm?

"Shove over," Alec orders, and climbs in. He stretches out, intending only to provide body heat, maybe some reassurance, but Ben rolls back over and melts into him. Alec plays along, worming one arm around Ben. He pulls the threadbare blanket over them both, then rubs Ben's bald head. "Hope you're not expecting me to make breakfast," he says, trying to play it off as a joke.

"I'll try to be quiet," Ben says, not joking at all.

Alec sighs. "I know you will."

They manage the border by taking the scenic route. They go over Mount Shuksan and stay on the ranges until they come down Silvertip Mountain in British Colombia. Eventually, they make their way to Hope. Alec does a lot of that the entire way; after the shit lot they'd all been dealt, it would have been nice for a cliche or two to drop into their laps. Maybe they'll run into Max in the city of Hope, and she'll share that answer she supposedly has.

They don't.

They start to get comfortable, which is their first mistake. Their routine is simple. Transportation: steal cars, or jack abandoned ones. Accommodations: sleep in shitty motels, or camp out under the cold Canadian stars. Money: burgle unsuspecting civilians. The goal: find Max.

There isn't a lot to go on. Scratch that; there is _jack shit_ to go on. Their journey is fueled by three things: Ben believes Max is alive, Alec can't believe Max is _not_ alive, and they have to do _something_ , so why not this.

Alec and Ben lay low, but keep their noses high. Every now and then, they catch scents of other transgenics: whispers, rumors, outright fear of "that weirdo" or murmurs of strange goings-on in any given town. They follow each of these leads, seeing if they lead to Max, or someone who can point the way.

They aren't the only ones still looking for transgenics. They find this out when they go back to their hotel one day and come face-to-face with an Exterminator's assault rifle. Alec dives out of range, cursing.

This is how Alec finds out that Ben is the finest killer he's ever seen. His twin might be a few cards short of a full deck, but he moves with finesse and efficiency that Alec can't help but admire. Alec doesn't even have to assist him; by the time he rolls to his feet, ready to fight, Ben has dropped the first Exterminator and is moving on to the second. He gives this one a sharp uppercut; Alec can hear his skull nearly snap off his neck. While the second Exterminator falls, Ben twists around and silences the third with a quick snap of the neck.

"Fuck me," Alec says, in awe.

Ben is on his knees, looting the corpses. Ever practical, Alec goes to help. He's lifted some twenties from one Exterminator's wallet when Ben gasps.

"What?" Alec asks, looking up.

Ben is white as a sheet when he hands over the papers he's discovered. Alec takes them, and his eyes widen. There are composite drawings of Alec, and some other transgenics he does not know. Along the bottom of the pages are scribbled notes, including city names. It makes Alec's stomach sink; these bastards have been tailing him since Fort Macleod. But most important is the fifth sketch he uncovers.

"Max," he breathes. The papers start to shake, and he realizes that's because his hands are. But there she is, etched out in black and white. Her name and vital statistics are scrawled on the bottom of the page, along with _"Neepawa?"_

"Where's Neepawa?" Ben asks.

"Manitoba," Alec replies, still staring. Max is alive. She has to be alive, or they wouldn't have teams of Exterminators scouring the country for her.

"So we're going to Manitoba?" Ben sounds hopeful.

"Yeah," Alec says. "Yeah, we are."

And Ben chokes out a sob, crawls over the corpse, and hugs him.

They steal a car and floor it to Neepawa. It's a ten hour drive; they do it in six. Neepawa turns out to be a speck on the map, barely sporting a population of four thousand. The locals are quiet and unassuming, generally minding their own business and keeping their heads down. Ben ditches their stolen car while Alec secures a room at a motel.

"You stay here," Alec says, sitting Ben on the bed. "I'll go take a look around."

The color drains from Ben's face. "But—" 

"I'm just getting a feel for the area. If I find any clues, I'll come get you." Alec gestures to the deliberately rustic decor. "Been a long time since we stayed in a place this passable. Try to get some sleep."

Ben flops back against the mattress. "Okay."

Alec makes sure the door is locked before heading out. There isn't much to see in Neepawa, but that actually makes his job easier. He keeps a low profile, doesn't bother asking anyone for clues. Not yet, anyway.

He's not sure what makes him head for the salvage yard. The sign catches his eye, giving directions for the outskirts of town, and something just compels him. He starts walking. Neepawa is a sleepy little city; crows are cawing overheard while Alec walks down the dirt road, shoes scuffing in the sand.

He spies the gate to the salvage yard and notes that it's open. Alec tenses, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Something's wrong.

He starts running. Faster, faster—until he's a blur, he sprints, through the gate and into the junkyard. He skids to a stop, kicking up dust. The salvage yard is eerily silent, save for the crows. Alec closes his eyes and listens, putting his transgenic genes to good use. Then he hears it: the shuffling of feet a few piles of scrap over.

Alec creeps past the mountains of old cars and discarded junk. He's got a plan prepared, a detailed itinerary of how to drop however many Exterminators are here. That whole plan goes out the window when a woman screams.

Alec breaks into another run, vaulting up and over a pile of scrap and leaping. He lands on one Exterminator, punching him in the throat hard enough to hear something crack. Alec rolls to his feet. There are two more Exterminators. Their white-and-gold uniforms are shimmering in the sun. Behind them, trapped against the shell of an old van, is Max.

She's dressed all in black, down to her shades. She's covered in dust and her hair is windblown, but she's alive. And terrified.

Something in Alec snaps. He lunges for the nearest Exterminator. A gun goes off. Max screams again. Alec breaks the rifle first, then the man. The second Exterminator manages to pistol whip him, but Alec's too pissed. He disarms the man, shooting him with his own gun.

Then it's just Alec and Max. The salvage yard is quiet again. Even the crows are gone. Alec looks at Max, drinks her in, and can't believe his luck. Maybe this is the universe's way of apologizing for all the shitty luck. Maybe this is the cliche ending they deserve.

"Max," Alec says, reaching a hand out. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you."

Her sunglasses hide her eyes, but Alec's stomach sinks when she frowns, clearly uncomprehending. "Who are you?"

_Fuck._

Alec spends half an hour trying to convince Max to go back to town with him, that it's safer if they stay together, that they're family. In the end, she does come with him. She confesses that Exterminators have been chasing her for as long as she remembers. She doesn't know how she'd managed to elude them until now. Alec does; her training kept her going, if she doesn't know it.

He ushers them both back to the motel. "Your brother will kill me when he finds out I found you without him," he cracks, trying for levity because what is he going to do with _two_ of them?

"Brother?" Max asks, as perplexed as ever.

Alec lets her in first, and closes the door behind them. He can tell something's wrong by the time he turns back around. Max is frozen still, staring at Ben. She whips off her sunglasses and tosses them aside.

Ben is equally shocked. His mouth works for long moments before he manages, "Maxie?"

She crumples into a mess of broken sounds.

"I went down after Terminal City," she tells them hours later. They're stuffed full of takeout and nursing beer. "Something exploded in my face. I'm lucky amnesia was all I got." Her eyes wobble, threatening tears. "Zack, he … fuck, _Zack._ "

Her memory is spotty, transgenic genes messing with psychological matters. She remembers going down, remembers _not_ remembering, remembers Zack finding her. She remembers Zack protecting her one last time.

She remembers Ben, her greatest failure and the anchor that brought her back.

"You have the answer," Ben says, reaching out to hold her hand.

When she looks up, she's Max again, all hard determination and strength. Her eyes are steel, her mouth set in a hard line. "No, I _am_ the answer. Whatever the cult wants, whatever the Exterminators fear, I have it." She clenches her fist. "They … Joshua. Cindy. _Logan._ "

"We'll kill them." Ben looks surprisingly calm. "We'll kill all of them."

"Three transgenics against the world," Alec says. The story of their lives. "We're with you, Max."

"Good. Good." And one day, when this is all over, the weight of all this will take its toll. They'll collapse beneath it and maybe it will kill them. For now, Max takes a deep breath. "Then let's finish this."

~End.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: off-screen character death.


End file.
